Ang sakit

I read his blog and I found that he really loved. He really did. And although there's so much pain in him, he still managed to say that that was the best he's ever had.

I nearly cried with his entry because it was so real. Everything that he wrote were written as it happened and he reacted truthfully about it. I'm glad that he's transparent. He's honest. Although I really can't appreciate the bad words in the entry, I'd like to say that I'm glad he's honest and true. There were times in the past where he also made a mistake but he got out of it and changed for his other half. However, it still ended. And for him, it hurts like hell.

What I learned so far is never to make you partner your life. Never let your world revolve around him. I am guilty because there are certain days when my life seems to revolve around him. I became aware of this when Meedge taught me the psych activity. I learned that my role as a special friend was a part of the upper half of priorities. I need to learn to not become too attached as it hurts me, unconsciously. I easily get hurt when he does not share to me his problems. I easily get hurt because I feel like I'm so open and he's not. I feel so selfish sometimes. I can see that I am selfish. Like I wanted so much from him although maybe I'm not really ready for it. I feel like I am too much in a hurry though I don't have to be.

And now I'd like to say sorry. How I'd like to stick with rules and boundaries though it may sting. This is the cross I have to carry for the next 8 months.