I'm feeling... hollow today. Parang may mali pero wala akong ginagawa about it. Parang may kulang pero hindi ko mapunan. Ayan na naman. Nawawala nanaman ako. These are the days when I am confused. Where my efforts seem to spiral to nothing. I don't know. I don't understand either. I don't understand what's happening with me.
Gusto ko siya makita. Hindi lang tawag. Burden sakin tumawag kasi iba-iba ung nakakasagot at hindi ko alam ung implications non. I'm a friend... who calls everyday? Alam ba ng cousins nya kung ano ako sa buhay niya? Ewan. That's why I hold myself back most of the time. Pati ayoko tumawag kahapon ng 11 kasi late na. Hinihintay ko na magtxt siya para tumawag ako pero late na sya nagtext. Tulog na ko kakahintay. At gumising ako ngaun na hindi kampante. Hindi masaya. Blunt affect. Nice psych. Ewan.
It is not easy being the friend. The friend he dates and rescues at every beckon and call. The friend he talks every night on the phone. The friend he plans his future with. The friend he texts daily. The friend. The friend. The friend who is not really just a friend. I never told you but the grey area still bothers me. It still haunts me at unexpected times. But I live with it for you. So you can breathe easily. So you can live your life happily. Hindi na ko pumalag. Ayoko na. This is the cross I decided to carry alone. Ayoko na sabihin sa iba how it bothers me. So smile nalang. And I decided to live with it.
Gusto ko siya makita. Hindi lang tawag. Burden sakin tumawag kasi iba-iba ung nakakasagot at hindi ko alam ung implications non. I'm a friend... who calls everyday? Alam ba ng cousins nya kung ano ako sa buhay niya? Ewan. That's why I hold myself back most of the time. Pati ayoko tumawag kahapon ng 11 kasi late na. Hinihintay ko na magtxt siya para tumawag ako pero late na sya nagtext. Tulog na ko kakahintay. At gumising ako ngaun na hindi kampante. Hindi masaya. Blunt affect. Nice psych. Ewan.
It is not easy being the friend. The friend he dates and rescues at every beckon and call. The friend he talks every night on the phone. The friend he plans his future with. The friend he texts daily. The friend. The friend. The friend who is not really just a friend. I never told you but the grey area still bothers me. It still haunts me at unexpected times. But I live with it for you. So you can breathe easily. So you can live your life happily. Hindi na ko pumalag. Ayoko na. This is the cross I decided to carry alone. Ayoko na sabihin sa iba how it bothers me. So smile nalang. And I decided to live with it.
1 comment:
shocks, sori that i prolonged that grey area. my bad... now i know. kapit lang. pray lang tayo . :)
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