It has been a long while since I last made an entry. I guess I got a little bit disappointed with Aza that's why I stopped. He's my only audience anyway. I decided to write again because I found a new reason to do so and I'm not telling.
Aza told me before that he'd visit me this April - which is of no truth. He just wanted to have a buddy to ramble with on the net and I was just available. I felt disappointed because I really did like him - even through all our differences, I really did like him..and I was honest about it - no bull from me.
Then he disappeared. Stopped messaging me and all. I didn't know what to do then. It kinda sucked to be me at that time actually. It was like as if I threw myself to a wall or something. That was the last. Through time, I learned that I expected to much from him. I thought that maybe he wasn't serious anyway - I felt like a flirt buddy. When rex texted me yesterday about "masakit ma-basted", in a way, I felt like I was also "nabasted" kahit hindi ako nanliligaw. Basta pinaasa ako at iniwan. Ako naman si tangang umasa.
I felt great when Rex became my textmate kasi I just needed some guy's thoughts on love, courtship, rejection - those types. I don't have anyone to talk to. Rex is basically the one nearest to me whom I can talk to and I appreciate his presence.
I'm glad I found a guy who has the same music interest as I do. I just don't know if he's a writer - then maybe I'd appreciate him more. I like to read blogs of other people. I like to make my own blogs but I never throw my blogs for the public eye. Only special people know my blog. Only this computer, Aza (if he still remembers), and Deo (bro) knows my blog. Anyone who comes across this is certainly someone special to me - someone who I am comfortable with and would feel cool sharing such thoughts of mine. Maybe i'll change my mind soon and let others check it out... I dunno.
2 comments:
Well that was an interesting read I must say.
I felt it was a shame that you hadn't been 'blogging' as it were, I really enjoyed dropping by and getting the 'low down' on whats going on.
This Rex guy sounds like hes pretty cool, and you seem to have a good repour with him witch is great.
That Aza fela.... from what I’ve read he sounds like a real prick. Taking your heart from you like and then just leaving you hanging on a learch without even a hint of what was happening that is very inconsiderate of your feelings. I can't imagine him seeing you as a "flirt buddy", he just doesn't really seem like that type. I personally think that the way that he made you feel is very similar if not exactly to the way he felt also.
Things can happen in peoples lives that takes them away from each other, Things happen in peoples lives that bring them back together.
Life can pull you away again. But its important that when there is something that you want that, you let go of what life is doing, go single mindedley for the thing that you want in life.
Take care, I'm Always thinking of you, (even if you don't know it.)
xoxox
I never really thought you would reply. :D
It's honestly great to hear from you again! :D
I'm sorry I said those things.. I was fairly disappointed as you may have noticed...
Hope you have a great day ahead of you! :D
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